Bad Sun Rising

            Whatever the creatures were, they made sounds that caused Josh to shiver. Their moans  raised goosebumps along his arm while the screams stood his hair on end, but the ones that laughed were the worst. Sharp and cruel laughter cut through the night air. In the darkness, he thought he could see the eyes of these laughing creatures, and his heart nearly stopped. Never before had he seen them so clearly. Perhaps there was a time or two in his life that he saw these creatures out of the corner of his eye, but never so in plain sight. They were human looking, and yet, they all contained inhuman features. While some were translucent, others had impossibly glowing eyes that turned his spine to ice. While he didn't know what they were, Josh was finished with their stares and their noises. For two days, he was in this hell. At first, he thought this was a nightmare, but dreams don't last this long. Cracking beneath the fear and anxiety, he snapped. He turned to face those glowing eyes in the distant trees and stuck his tongue out. Then he twisted his face horridly and waved his hands through the air. 

​

            Continuing to make faces, Josh cried out his anguish, “That’s right. I know I look stupid, but it’s not like you can see me.” No one had spoken to him for two days. They only looked through him, so what did it matter if he behaved like a clown. If this wasn't a dream, then he had lost his sanity. After that, what else was there to lose? 

​

            As she reached into a bag of popcorn, Audrey watched her problem reach a critical point that demanded her intervention. No longer could she remain perched on a gravestone, overseeing her problem ponder its own misery while she tried to figure out exactly what to do with it. Sighing, she placed her feet on the soft grass and stood. A broken spirit was one that didn't move on, her conscience reminded her. Audrey sauntered over until she was only a few feet behind Josh, her head tilted as she took in the sight of him. When his frantic madness began to fill her with pity, instead of amusement, Audrey decided to put an end to his charade.  Cheerily, Audrey interjected, “You know they can see you.”

 

            Josh jumped, and spun wildly to face her, for it seemed that Audrey popped out of nowhere. Over the last few days, he had become accustomed to being unseen by the world, that he had not noticed her descent towards him. “You can see me,” Josh stated, his voice somewhere between mystified and hopeful. Then he realized with some dread, “They can see me?”

 

            While ingesting a few more kernels of popcorn, Audrey nodded. “And who exactly are they?” Josh wondered, relieved that someone could tell him something of his predictament. Even if there was nothing to be done, there was a peace in knowing. 

​

            Audrey waved her hand, “Oh, the creatures of the afterlife, of limbo, and everything stuck in between. Ghosts, spirits, witches, werewolves, etc. Those weird glowy eye things, I call the audience, because they laugh, or cry, and always at the cruelest of times.” She stopped her rambling introduction when she realized Josh was not listening, stuck on the fact that she could see him. Ghosts. Some of them were really slow. Audrey blamed it on the technicality that brains were corporeal, and spirits left them behind when leaving the body. “Now that you’re a ghost, you should know, everyone is watching," Audrey told him. For a mere moment, the cheerful facade slipped, and she gave him a look that made Josh feel like a rubix cube she was fiddling with to pass the time. "What I don’t understand is why everyone is so intent on you.”

 

            “Do you never make sense or do you have a thing for ambiguity?” Josh returned. No one had interacted with him for two days, so he didn't know what she meant by everyone was 'so intent' on him. 

 

            Unhelpfully, Audrey shrugged, “I must be one or the other.” Instead of elaborating, she ate some more of her popcorn and waited for Josh to speak.

 

            How quickly she hid behind that cheerful mask again, Josh thought, just as he wondered if Audrey would give him any real answers, even if she could. He'd never know if he didn't ask, so he plainly inquired, “Look, this might sound crazy, but I think I’m dead. Can you help me with that?” 

​

            Her eyes melted into pools of sympathy and her lips quivered, until they gave way to laughter. Under his breath, Josh muttered, “Now I understand the laughing at the cruelest of times.”

​

            Kind commiseration doting on her voice, Audrey answered, “You’re new to death. Oh, this is going to be so much fun.” Josh felt his stomach turn with her words, but she went on, ignorant as his ashen skin paled even more. “Welcome to the A.D. I will be your guide.”

​

            “The A.D.?” Josh echoed.

​

            “Yes, the after death,” Audrey explained with the cheeriness of a flight attendant that parachuted right out of the sixties, “I’m Audrey, and I’ll be your guide. Popcorn?”

 

            Though Audrey tilted the red and white striped bag toward him, Josh shook his head. Warily, Josh proceeded to elicit more information about his current circumstance. Even in the face of the worst possible scenario, the journalist in him took over. It’s not like this is more than a bad dream, he silently told himself, better find out the rules of the dream, so I can wake up. Aloud, Josh asked, “What are those things? And what are you?”

 

            Peering towards the creatures in the trees, Audrey offered vague explanations. “As I already explained, I call them the audience, but some call them the others. No one really knows anything about them, except that they exist. I guess you need a higher paygrade, or secuirity clearance to know."

 

            Josh stared at her, and Audrey shook her head. "You're not a stiff anymore, Josh. Of course, I'm kidding. Kind of. I believe they are the ones that report everything to the higher beings, since they rarely grace this earth. They only come down in the extreme cases.”

 

            In another perfect echo, Josh repeated dubiously, “Higher beings? I get those audience things, but what are higher beings? Angels? God? I should have gone to church with my grandma?”

 

            “There are many kinds of higher beings, but as I said, they usually make themselves scarce, unless something unimaginably bad, or implausibly good is about to happen.” For some reason, Audrey felt the need to add, “Look, there’s just one thing you should know about the audience. Don’t get into a staring match with them. They’ll always win. You know, because staring is their divine occupation.”

​

            Choosing to ignore the absurdity of the last comment, Josh asked, “Why can only you and them see me?”

 

            “Oh, I’m not the only one who can see you, Josh. That’s actually why I’ve finally introduced myself,” Audrey said with a bright smile. “You’re causing quite the ruckus, Josh.” Somehow, she did not seem sorry about that fact. Only a slight trace of sullenness could be found in her voice, when Audrey said, “The spirits don’t like it. This is a graveyard. The spirits here come to get some R.I.P. and you are disturbing it for everyone.”

 

           If it was intended to be a joke, then it bypassed Josh, as he guardedly wanted to know, “How do you know my name?"

 

            “It’s my job to know your name,” Audrey replied. “Plus, ghosts only sit on their own gravestones. Sitting on another’s could start a soul feud, which is ten times worse than a blood feud. Anyway, I noticed you sitting on your gravestone a couple days ago. I didn’t introduce myself, because, quite frankly, you had yet to become a nuisance, and I wasn’t bored then. Popcorn?”

 

            “No,” Josh replied firmly. At a time like this, what was popcorn going to do? “Did you just imply that I’m a ghost?”

 

            His question reminded her of why he couldn't accept the popcorn if he wanted, and Audrey went on apologetically, “Right, ghosts can’t eat. Sorry, forgot. And I didn’t imply anything. You are dead and a ghost. Could be worse. You could be just plain dead. Or a ghost who isn’t dead. That’s a messy situation right there.”

 

            “You’re crazy,” Josh decided. “Ghosts aren’t real?”

 

            The mere fact that he phrased his assertion as id it was a question, made Audrey laugh. “Surely, by now, you’ve managed to realize this is beyond the realm of a bad dream. If you haven’t, I swear, I will slap you so hard, you’ll evaporate into the Otherside,” Audrey warned. When Josh only stared at her, Audrey relented, almost pleading him to come to terms with reality, “You can’t be seen or eat. You’ve attended your own funeral. You’re living on a grave. You’re not exactly corporeal.”

​

             Pausing to ascertain if the words were getting through to Josh, Audrey could almost see his mind unable to compute her words. In a sigh, Audrey added, “I admire your tenacity in maintaining a delusional perception of reality. Nonetheless, I cannot help you, if you do not accept what is before you. Unless you can offer a better explanation, because I would love to fight for another reality, if it were any better than this one.”

 

            Whether or not he was a ghost, Josh decided to come to terms that something out of his control was happening to him. So far, this crazy woman in the middle of the graveyard with a bag popcorn was his only source of information. At least, Audrey was showing a desire to help him. She chose to giggle at him to his face, not behind the branches of the trees. Digging for more information, Josh pressed, “Then you must be a ghost too.”

 

          If Josh wasn't mistaken, Audrey was sorry she could not join him in ghostly solidarity. “I’m not really dead, but I’m boring. Let’s talk about you. I’ve dealt with a lot of ghosts. You always stay, because you need something. I was kind of hoping it was your tenacity for living, but you seem to come to terms with things quickly, when the reality of it is forced upon you. Kind of disappointing, because now I’ve no idea what to do with you.”

 

           Words she said earlier, suddenly raced to the forefront of his mind. “Is that why you ignored me for two days? Not because you were bored, but because you had no idea what to do with me?”

 

            “Actually, I came over because the S.I.R.s, the spirits in residence, were complaining. As I  mentioned prreviously, the dead are here to rest in peace, and you are disturbing that peace.  They’re afraid that the ghost hunters will be attracted by your antics, and they’ll have to suffer the consequences. I would like to avoid that, because if I have to clean up one more of their messes, there’s going to be some new additions to the Otherside before their time.”

​

          “Ghost hunters?" Josh leapt at the possibilty, "Can they help me move on?” 

​

          “No," Audrey said firmly, even a little to quickly.  Seeing Josh's heart race with excitement incited a protectiveness. Whether it was for Josh, or an alterior purpose, Josh was not sure. "Do you just not listen when people speak, or is there a language barrier of which I’m not aware? Modern English isn’t my first language. Though in all fairness, you’re speaking a language that came from my language. Well, it came from the language, that came from the language that came from my language,” Audrey stopped herself. “Look, I’m helping you move on. No, hey, hey!”

 

            Audrey snapped her fingers in front of Josh’s eyes, ensuring his confused expression was locked on her surprisingly sincere one. “Pay attention to what I'm saying. It's one of the most important things I'm going to say to you. A ghost hunter will force you over before you are ready. Do you know what happens when a ghost crosses over, but is not ready?”

​

             Josh shook his head. Quietly, Audrey went on, “It’s not pretty. It hurts to see.” Either Audrey was a psychopath with an ability to emulate sincerity  impeccably,  or maybe, she’d had some personal experience with the matter. Josh was unable to tell, even when Audrey peered up at him and asked, “So tell me, Josh. What’s keeping you?”

​

            Relenting, Josh decided to play the rules of this game. If it were a dream, Josh would forget it in the first ten minutes of waking up, anyway. “I don’t know. I was living, now I’m dead. I don’t know why I am here. I was content.”

 

           Returning his words, Audrey replied, “Well, content is not exactly happy, is it?”

 

           In response, Josh insisted, “I had a good job, a good life, I’m not exactly thrilled to be dead, but I don’t really have any regrets.”

 

            “You have to give me more than that, Josh,” Audrey responded. 

 

            “You know, I wake up dead, a paradox I can’t comprehend, with these audience things staring at me,” he trailed off, and Audrey interjected.

 

            “They aren’t things, Josh. Being upset is no reason to be rude. In the afterlife, hurt pride is the number one cause of violent, eternal fueds, and it makes me have to do more work." She stressed this warning, "Don’t make me do more work.”

​

          “What are you? The police of the afterlife?” Josh scoffed.

 

           Peering off in distant thought, Audrey murmured, “Kind of, but I don’t have a badge or uniform. It would be so awesome if I did. Oh, and handcuffs. I’d be so happy; I’d transcend to seventh heaven.”

 

           Maybe he would have commented on her lack of sympathy, or outright madness, if a misery greaer han his own had not caught his eye. “Oh, dear god, what is that thing?” Josh pointed, horrified as a grotesque ghost in a civil war uniform, slowly moved across the grass.

​

           In a low voice, Audrey answered, “A ghost. He died in the civil war and now he just drifts.”

 

           A response lodged in his throat as Josh realized that Audrey's tone was just the surface of an ocean, beneath it was a complexity he couldn't imagine yet. Despite his seized throat, he ended the silence between by quietly utttering, “That’s horrible.” 

 

            Instead of agreeing, Audrey dully responded, “It’s horrible that he can’t move on. Wise up, or you’ll end up just like him.” As the ghost faded from view, Audrey turned sharply away. 

 

          “How long have you been here, then?” Josh wanted to know, Audrey's action piquing his interest in her again. Furthermore, what were Audrey’s qualifications as an afterlife guide, and could he shop for a new one if he was displeased?

 

          As Audrey stepped back into her cheerful persona, Josh began to suspect that Audrey had an astounding gift to hide from herself the emotions she did not want to feel, though he reminded himself that he might just be in the company of a talented psychopath . So far, he had a convincing case for either circumstance, and he didn’t want to risk trusting her too much, or too little in a world he didn’t know. Figuring Audrey should at least get a question for a question, in lieu of answers she had been handing out, Audrey offered a vague explanation, before inquiring, “A long, long time, but I’m no ghost. How did you die anyway?”

 

          “A car hit me,” Josh asserted, before uncertainty crept back into his voice, “I think. I only remember headlights, then waking up at my grave.”

​

           Audrey replied back, “Time’s weird once you’ve died. What’s keeping you here?”

​

           Why did Audrey keep asking, as if Josh was just refusing to answer? A better question was why had he not woken up yet? This was the most lucid and surreal dream, Josh had ever had, and frustration was rising in him. Again, he said, “I said that I don’t know. I was happy. I was satisfied with my career.”

 

            Dryly, Audrey answered, “Yeah, I was satisfied too.”

 

            “I had the greatest girlfriend, apartment, job, dog- oh no. My dog,” Josh started. Whatever frustration he was feeling was squashed by his anxiety for his dog's well-being. 

 

            Quelling his panic, Audrey soothed, “He’s fine. He’s with your girlfriend.”

​

            “How do you know?” Josh demandd.

​

            Calmly, Audrey admitted, “When I saw you, but didn’t know what to do with you, so I did some recon. Your girlfriend is ten times more interesting than you, by the way, and she’s grieving. Just a little perspective about moving on, for you. She’s fine, by the way. You know, considering someone she loved died.”

 

            Josh agreed, “I know. I’ve been checking in on her.” He kept a troubling throught to himself, one that wondered how both of them were in the same graveyard, checking up on people from Josh's life, but Josh hadn't even glimpsed Audrey before then. Why could she see him, without him noticing her?

 

            Truthfully, Audrey spoke with one of those moments where she decided to be unbearably sincere, “She did love you. Sincerely and deeply. You should know that.”

 

            “I know,” Josh repeated, but his words lacked Audrey’s empathy.

 

            “Then that’s not keeping you here.” The fact deflated Audrey a bit. He was turning into a pesky little ghost, not the easy loose end she had hoped to tie.

​

            “If you’re here, is the Otherside so great?” Josh wondered aloud, “You don’t know me. Why do you care if I move on?”

 

          Softly, Audrey tried to be gentle, but cautioned; “Some would force you to, which always ends badly. I won’t let it happen to you. Look, in life, I was used and thrown away, which is a rather useless life. I won’t let my eternal death be like that. Will you?”

 

            Something about her words convinced him more than anything else she had said. Instead of trying to convince him with overbearing sympathy, Audrey had slipped. Audrey had shown undeniably true emotion, with an undertone of angry bitterness. Whatever her true motivations, Josh could not deny that Audrey truly wanted to help. He asked quietly, “What can I do?”

​

          “You can be a ghost here, or alive on the Otherside. What do you want?” Audrey informed him. She watched some emotion flicker across his face as he started to let his guard down. “Good decision,” she congratulated, “Have some popcorn.”

 

           “You said ghosts can’t eat,” Josh reminded her.

 

            “Sorry,” Audrey looked at the bag in her hands, and dully confessed, “I was hoping you would take it anyway. I really hate popcorn.”

​

            “Then why do-,” Audrey cut Josh off before he could finish his question.

​

            “I ran into the ghost hunters, and those pricks really piss me off, so I stole it from them, in order to teach them a lesson. Also, I was hungry and didn’t care if I didn’t like it, but it turns out that I just can’t do it. Between the Styrofoam texture and the getting stuck in the teeth, just, ew.” Slightly to the amusement of Josh, Audrey shuddered.

 

            A loud voice rang out across the quiet of the graveyard, causing both of them to spin around to find a tall, broad-chested man running towards them, calling, “Audrey. Audrey!”

​

            Upon hearing her name, Audrey’s eyes widened slightly, but she seemed unalarmed at the spectacle running towards her. Though he was dressed like a modern man, a large sword hung off a worn belt on his hip. “You have to see this. I swear, it’s a talking zombie. Oh hey, the audience is here tonight. Awesome.” His attention only momentarily distracted by the creatures in the distance, he offered a goofy grin and a slight wave. Josh also turned to face the same direction as this viking of a man. With Audrey's company to blame, Josh almost forgot about those 'others'. Both men turned back to Audrey, so tha Connor could assure her, “It’s the coolest thing we’ve seen in years, and it looks like Ian.”

 

            “That’s not possible. You shouldn’t be here,” Audrey said briskly, her heart skipping beats. “I have to help our friend Josh move on while you go slay that zombie, which does not talk.”

​

            Connor stopped on his heel, an amusing fete for someone who looked like he was descended from barbarian warriors. “Is he? Audrey, is that? I didn’t know he would-.”

​

            “I know you,” Josh suddenly realized. Something was prickling his memory, but he didn’t know why. Audrey looked at Connor, who stared back in panic. For a second, Josh thought Audrey was angry, and Josh wondered what he was really seeing.